I've been trying to prepare mentally and emotionally for what I'm going to imagine is going to be a rough first week. Apparently the "plan" goes like this; Month one (January when she was diagnosed): kill all the cancer you can. Month two: be less aggressive and let it come out of hiding. Month three: search and destroy. So they will be giving Grace chemo up to 10x the doses she's previously had, and all in one week, including the hated steroids. I'm imagining she'll be sleeping off most of the week, Easter included. At least I pray she will.
I suppose it's a good thing that my brain is too tired to do much planning besides what's physically needed. I'm not thinking too much about what's to come, and that's good because so far nothing has been what I've thought anyhow. Some things have been much more complicated than I would have guessed. Some things have been amazing, like how so many people have come together to help us. Or how Grace has been feeling great this last month and is acting like herself again.
We'll need prayer for strength and for health. Please also be praying that God will comfort and help transition Grace's little brother...the little guy is only two. There aren't words that I can use to explain why mommy and daddy are gone so much, but God can speak his language. And for Grace, that the chemo does it's job and that there won't be any side effects from the chemo itself. I know they're already planning to watch her kidneys closely to make sure they don't get damaged this coming week from the onslaught of chemo.
And Chad and I need strength and peace and to find refuge in God this coming week. That we will hear His voice and feel His presence, no matter how tired we get or how hard things become...or how easy but busy they might become. The good news is that we have total peace that He will be with us. His promises have been constant even when life has not been.