This last stint at CHLA began last Friday, so five days now. We're still waiting for her ANC to go up and there's simply no guessing how long that could take. Friday in the ER her heart rate rose dramatically and her blood pressure fell and rather than send us home they admitted us.
I'm so thankful that they kept us here. Last night, with Noni (Grandma) spending the night, Grace got chills, another fever and her heart rate rose and fell erratically. That means that her body is still fighting off an infection. Although she is feeling great today and playing tons, she is still fighting for her life.
Thankfully with one night off and some good sleep, I'm not as despondent as the last stay. Instead I'm taking cues from my brother-in-law Devan and his wife Tina on patience. I realized that God knew we'd be here in the hospital before He created the world and this is not a surprise to Him. That means that if He planned it, then there is purpose here.
There's purpose in loving our neighbors, like the strong little roommate we had who had brain surgery this week Grace brought a cupcake to. There's purpose in getting to know our nurses better. There's purpose in being strong for the other cancer mommas on the floor. Most of all there's purpose in serving my daughter and helping her through such a long, sometimes painful, often boring, journey.
There's also purpose in obedience. I used to want to be a hero. Ever since I was little I dreamed of saving the world with superhuman acts of awesomeness. Now I'm starting to see that little acts of obedience can be used, and I think in many ways preferred by God. In Luke 11:28 Jesus said, "Blessed...are those who hear the word of God and obey it."
My obedience today is to accept being in the hospital. My obedience today is to have a willing attitude to learn while we're here. My obedience today is to be patient. My obedience today is to not pity myself but find ways to be thankful. My obedience today is to play Barbies for hours with my eager daughter, even when she catches a bad case of the "silly-naughties."
We hope to be home before Christmas, but even if not, there are still lots of reasons to celebrate.